When researching about how best to look after our mental health, especially in relationships, the term ‘boundaries’ crops up a hell of a lot. And we’re told that one of the key aspects to maintaining healthy and happy relationships is learning how to set said boundaries. However, if you’re wondering what any of this actually means in a practical sense, then you have come to the right place.
What are Boundaries?
Boundaries in psychology are essentially a way of setting out to others the ways in which we feel comfortable and uncomfortable with their behaviours. They are limits that we set openly to signal to others what is and isn’t acceptable to us. Boundaries are intrinsically linked to our self-worth as individuals and they can be physical, emotional, social, spiritual or intellectual in nature.
Before we set boundaries we need to have conversations with ourselves about what these limits are for us. Naturally, they will differ from person to person based on a variety of factors such as personality type and past experiences. The best way to start on this self-discovery journey is to look introspectively and establish the things in life which are most important to us.
How do I Work out What Mine are?
From here we can then start to look at experiences we have had where we felt like a line was crossed. This could be a time when you felt physically uncomfortable, or possibly a time when a work colleague said something you found inappropriate. Remember, boundaries can be set in a number of different forms. From these instances, we can then start to form the basis of our boundaries. Be aware, it is a gradual process and can take years to perfect, but rest assured that it is worth the effort.
What are the Benefits?
Boundaries can have a myriad of benefits in our relationships and our sense of who we are in the world. In can also have a tangible impact on our self-esteem and allow us to make better decisions and become more assertive as people.
